I was afraid to let it out, to say it out loud. I was afraid it could destroy me, that maybe it could destroy us. I see him standing there looking at me with that large beautiful smile, but I realise that that smile is no longer for me. I am not his anymore and he is not mine. I have tried to drink away my sorrows, but nothing I did made me feel less like a ghost. Nothing could repair the damage he left behind.
‘Hi, are you ready?’ my friend jumped in front of me out of nowhere and sadly she was blocking my view. She realized I was trying to look past her and turned around for a quick moment.
‘Really? I know he is totally hot and all, but you know you two are long done. You have to move on.’
She did the puppy eyes that no one could possibly resist as if it was enough to make me forget the best relationship I have ever had.
‘You know it’s not that easy…’
‘Best relationship ever, blablabla. You know I am not in all of that bullshit. When it’s over it’s over.’ She started walking and i followed her. ‘Life is already fucking complicated, we just insist on complicating it more.’ She grabbed my shoulders and shook me harshly. ‘Move on!’
And that’s my friend Anna. She is a special kind of insane mixed with a convinced feminist, a bit of anxiety and paranoia and a lot of rebellion, but that’s alright because I love and accept her as she is and she accepts me as messed up as I am. Oh… I forgot to mention. I am Chloe.
Hei,cititori !! Nu pot sa cred ca au trecut doi ani de cand scriu pe acest blog , doi ani de cand ma bucur de sustinerea voastra si interesul pentru carti.Asadar voua trebuie sa va multumesc in primul rand pentru ca imi cititi blogul, imi trimiteti e-mail-uri si imi recomandati cele mai bune carti.Cum multumirile nu sunt de ajuns pentru a exprima cat de mult m-ati ajutat in acesti 2 ani, v-am pregatit un concurs 😀
Premiile sunt urmatoarele: 1 voucher in valoare de 35 de lei oferit de Libris si 3 rollere cu gumaübers Fiktion! (Vor exista 4 castigatori.Acestia vor fi alesi prin random.org.) In cazul in care nu ati mai cumparat pana acum carti online,trebuie sa stiti ca Libris este cea mai mare librarie online din Romania si ofera o varietate de carti in romana si engleza,toate cu transport gratuit si preturi mai…
I had a dream a few days ago. It was you and me like it has been before. This bitter feeling crept inside me when I woke up, suffocating me. I haven’t thought about him in a very long time and suddenly that day became all about him. I kept thinking about what it could have been if I had made different choices, if only i would have had the strength to decide better. The dream still stands crystal-clear in my mind and I wish that at least for a few more moments I could live in it. It breaks my heart that I didn’t realize what he meant for me before it was too late. And today I miss him more than ever. Today I let myself think about him and miss him because I am grateful he was a part of me. I am grateful for having him by my side. Tonight I am thinking about him so tomorrow I can start a new chapter.
I need you to need me… No, you know something? I don’t need anyone to need me. You either are in my life or not. I am not gonna cry and I am certainly not gonna become desperate for attention. I have learnt that I can make it on my own. I don’t need someone in my life to feel complete. Nobody should because if you let someone become everything when they’ll leave, and trust me, they will, you will be left with nothing, only an empty space where that person used to be. If you make someone your everything you risk losing everything. You are allowed to fall in love and love deeply, but never, ever depend on someone. Learn how to be alone, because at some point you will be. Go to a movie or to a restaurant alone, don’t be embarrassed. Enjoy spending time with yourself, learn to pick yourself up because at the end of the day that’s what matters. You are amazing and you don’t need someone to define you.
Nu am mai scris de mult… Nici macar eu nu stiu motivul. Poate pur si simplu nu mai am ce sa spun sau poate nimic nu iese bine. Poate nu mai pot sa scriu…poate am rămas goala pe dinăuntru si oricât as încerca cuvintele potrivite nu par sa se așeze pe hârtie. Astăzi pur si simplu simt nevoie sa scriu in micul meu jurnal, pe aceste blog, unde desi toată lumea poate sa citească, ma simt in siguranta.
Am rămas singura, am făcut greșeli si am stat alaturi de oameni care nu meritau efortul. Am pierdut timp din cauza asta si oamenii care chiar țineau la mine. Se zice ca prietenia adevărata durează si la distanta.. Înseamnă ca nu am o prietena adevărata, sau pur si simplu mergând in direcția greșita am pierdut pe toata lumea. Am fost uitata, lasata in urma si înlocuita. Nu mai pot sa scriu, parca mi s-a furat singura alinare.. Si tot ce am zis suna atât de patetic, vreau doar sa stau in pătură si sa uit tot, sa uit ca am existat vreodată..
“I don’t want to wake up ten years from now and realize that I am made of parts, little parts taken from everyone I have ever met. I don’t want to look inside and not find any of ME left because I won’t be empty, I will be full of all the people I am not. And for me that’s the saddest thing of all. Don’t let people stay in the way of yourself because everyone leaves, but you”ll have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.”